THE SECRETS OF GOOD CONVERSATION
An interesting conversationalist is welcome anywhere – and
you can learn to be one. If you find yourself shying away from conversation,
here are tips that will give you more confidence in a group, tell you how to
avoid common errors and embarrassing silences.
Conversation is
self expression; it provides us opportunities for asserting our individuality,
telling the world just how we feel, or letting off steam. Talk of this sort is
pleasurable and valuable. At its best conversation means pooling of
information, the sharing of interests, the bringing together of ideas.
Here are a few
tips for a good conversation.
1.
BE
INTERESTED
Be interested in what’s being talked about.
Be interested not just in one person you know very well, but in all the people
in the group. Let your gaze move from eye to eye.
2.
BE FRIENDLY
Conversation withers if you are critical of
the people present or are cans tie about their contributions or show by your
expression, that you don’t think much about them.
3.
BE CHEERFUL AND GOOD HUMORED
Smile; make it an interested, friendly
smile shows your good feelings in the way you say things. Leave your tragic
mask at home. Don’t try to get people together found by inhabiting what a hurt,
misunderstood soul you are.
4.
BE ANIMATED AND YET RELAXED
You’re alive, so let your far and gestures
show it. But good conversation also has certain calmness, a feeling of
relaxation about it. It is a play activity, a good refreshing rest from work.
5.
BE FLEXIBLE
Topics, people and moods change. In good
conversationalist changes with them.
6.
BE TACTFUL
Follow that old adage, think before you
speak. Think first not afterwards. That is the essence of tactfulness. If you
neighbor’s son has been expelled from school, stay far away from the topic of
college requirements or any talk about the irresponsibility of youth, while
chatting with him.
7.
BE COURTEOUS
Good conversation is good manners. This
does not mean merely saying, “Please, Thanks, You are welcome”. It means having
a general attitude of consideration for others.
BY DON’TS IN CONVERSATION
1.
Don’t be dogmatic
Avoid the sweeping generation, such as “all
politicians are corrupt”. Moderate your statements avoid all and always use
some , sometimes a few, many occasionally etc. learn the face saving and
argument avoiding uses of perhaps: do you think last week I heard someone say
that may be I’m wrong, but.
2.
Condescending
An attitude of being superior to everything
and everybody will soon leave you in splendid isolation. There are better amusements
than sitting alone looking down one’s nose.
3.
Don’t be argumentative
Almost everybody likes a good fight in the
prize ring or the political arena. But almost no one is overjoyed to discover a
battler in the living room. Do not argue for argument’s sake, when you
disagree, be an amicable adversary.
4.
Don’t be lifeless
The other person expects to get some
response from you to his willicism. Don’t force him to carry the entire burden
of the talking make your responses something more than monosyllables conversation
is a game which requires at least two players, no game is fun if one player is
halfhearted about it.
5.
Don’t be insincere
Praise people but don’t over praise them.
Don’t gush, don’t be fulsome. And praise the right thing. If your hostess
serves excellent food on acceptable but undistinguishing China, Praise the
food, not the plates.
6.
Don’t be egocentric
Express your opinion state, your reactions
but without given the expression that you think the universe revolves around
you. Don’t talk in such a way that your topics can be described as “inflation
and me”, “The Taj Mahal and me”, “The Supreme court and me”, “The decimal point
and me”, etc.
7.
Don’t aim to be the “the life of the party”
We admire the wonderful storyteller, the
brilliant evil, the character whose infections humor keeps the party conversed
with laughter. But we shouldn’t lit our admiration lead us into thinking that
our every remark must be a joke, that the chief goal of conversation is
laughter. Good conversation can be serious as well as a gay.
8.
Finally, don’t mumble
Speak clearly; speak up before a remark can
be understood, before a question can be answered, before a joke can be laughed
at, it must be heard, it must be intelligible.
