THE SECRETS OF GOOD CONVERSATION - Start it now at Speak English - Koramangala

THE SECRETS OF GOOD CONVERSATION

An interesting conversationalist is welcome anywhere – and you can learn to be one. If you find yourself shying away from conversation, here are tips that will give you more confidence in a group, tell you how to avoid common errors and embarrassing silences.

     Conversation is self expression; it provides us opportunities for asserting our individuality, telling the world just how we feel, or letting off steam. Talk of this sort is pleasurable and valuable. At its best conversation means pooling of information, the sharing of interests, the bringing together of ideas.

    Here are a few tips for a good conversation.

1.     BE  INTERESTED

Be interested in what’s being talked about. Be interested not just in one person you know very well, but in all the people in the group. Let your gaze move from eye to eye.

2.     BE FRIENDLY

Conversation withers if you are critical of the people present or are cans tie about their contributions or show by your expression, that you don’t think much about them.

3.     BE CHEERFUL AND GOOD HUMORED

Smile; make it an interested, friendly smile shows your good feelings in the way you say things. Leave your tragic mask at home. Don’t try to get people together found by inhabiting what a hurt, misunderstood soul you are.

4.     BE ANIMATED AND YET RELAXED

You’re alive, so let your far and gestures show it. But good conversation also has certain calmness, a feeling of relaxation about it. It is a play activity, a good refreshing rest from work.

5.     BE FLEXIBLE

Topics, people and moods change. In good conversationalist changes with them.

6.     BE TACTFUL

Follow that old adage, think before you speak. Think first not afterwards. That is the essence of tactfulness. If you neighbor’s son has been expelled from school, stay far away from the topic of college requirements or any talk about the irresponsibility of youth, while chatting with him.

7.     BE COURTEOUS

Good conversation is good manners. This does not mean merely saying, “Please, Thanks, You are welcome”. It means having a general attitude of consideration for others.

BY DON’TS IN CONVERSATION

1.     Don’t be dogmatic

Avoid the sweeping generation, such as “all politicians are corrupt”. Moderate your statements avoid all and always use some , sometimes a few, many occasionally etc. learn the face saving and argument avoiding uses of perhaps: do you think last week I heard someone say that may be I’m wrong, but.

2.     Condescending

An attitude of being superior to everything and everybody will soon leave you in splendid isolation. There are better amusements than sitting alone looking down one’s nose.

3.     Don’t be argumentative

Almost everybody likes a good fight in the prize ring or the political arena. But almost no one is overjoyed to discover a battler in the living room. Do not argue for argument’s sake, when you disagree, be an amicable adversary.

4.     Don’t be lifeless

The other person expects to get some response from you to his willicism. Don’t force him to carry the entire burden of the talking make your responses something more than monosyllables conversation is a game which requires at least two players, no game is fun if one player is halfhearted about it.

5.     Don’t be insincere

Praise people but don’t over praise them. Don’t gush, don’t be fulsome. And praise the right thing. If your hostess serves excellent food on acceptable but undistinguishing China, Praise the food, not the plates.

 6.     Don’t be egocentric

Express your opinion state, your reactions but without given the expression that you think the universe revolves around you. Don’t talk in such a way that your topics can be described as “inflation and me”, “The Taj Mahal and me”, “The Supreme court and me”, “The decimal point and me”, etc.

7.     Don’t aim to be the “the life of the party”

We admire the wonderful storyteller, the brilliant evil, the character whose infections humor keeps the party conversed with laughter. But we shouldn’t lit our admiration lead us into thinking that our every remark must be a joke, that the chief goal of conversation is laughter. Good conversation can be serious as well as a gay.

8.     Finally, don’t mumble

Speak clearly; speak up before a remark can be understood, before a question can be answered, before a joke can be laughed at, it must be heard, it must be intelligible.